Teaching Perspective-Taking: Helping Neurodivergent Children See Through Another’s Eyes

Have you ever wondered how children learn to see the world through someone else’s eyes? For most kids, this skill—called perspective-taking—develops naturally as they grow. But for neurodivergent children, such as those on the autism spectrum or with developmental delays, it isn’t always that simple. Perspective-taking needs to be nurtured and taught, step by step.

One small classroom activity with a piggy bank showed me just how important, and fascinating, this skill really is.

A Simple Piggy Bank Experiment

It all began with me showing a piggy bank to my neurodivergent students, aged 9 to 16, during a group session. I shook the piggy bank and asked the children, “What do you think is inside?”

All of them confidently said, “Coins.” Naturally, being a piggy bank, that’s what everyone would assume. But when I opened the metallic box, they were surprised to see crayons inside.

Then came the twist in the story. I asked them, “What do you think your parents, who are waiting outside in another room, would say if I asked them the same question?”

Each one of them replied, “Crayons.”

Why Perspective-Taking Is a Challenge

This is where perspective-taking or the ability to think from another person’s point of view—comes into play. It doesn’t come naturally to children with autism, intellectual disabilities, or other developmental delays. For them, what they see is what they believe everyone else can see.

That’s why they often view the world in black and white, without understanding the “grey” shades.

This also explains why they:

• Take language literally and struggle to understand wit, sarcasm, idioms, and riddles.

• Miss hidden meanings in communication.

• Overlook non-verbal cues such as gestures, facial expressions, and tone of voice.

In this YouTube short, Ms. Simmi Vasu, our Consultant Special Educator, talks about Perspective taking. To view more such videos, subscribe and follow our YouTube channel.

Why It Matters for Empathy

Perspective-taking is integral to developing empathy and avoiding the impression of being selfish or emotionless—something parents sometimes worry about.

For example, many parents share concerns when their children laugh upon seeing someone else cry. The reason is not cruelty, but rather that the child has not yet developed “theory of mind,” or perspective-taking.

How Perspective-Taking Develops

This skill usually begins in simple forms around ages 4 to 5, when children start to understand that others may see things differently. However, more complex forms emerge much later, continuing to develop through adolescence.

Different models, such as Selman’s stages, outline this progression:

• Ages 3–6: Recognizing differing thoughts.

• Ages 5–9: Understanding that people have different access to information.

• Ages 7–12: Developing the ability to “step into another’s shoes.”

Building Flexible Thinkers

Developing this ability helps children recognize that other people have different preferences and thought sand that this is completely okay.

It also fosters flexible thinking, which is especially important since many children on the spectrum can be rigid in their behaviours, often leading to behavioural challenges.

Teaching Perspective-Taking Step by Step

Perspective-taking must be taught to neurodivergent children just like any other skill. Some strategies include:

• Starting with simple cause-and-effect games.

• Encouraging children to infer situations.

• Teaching reasoning and problem-solving through scenarios.

• Offering multiple-choice answers at first, then gradually removing them to build independent thinking.

Over time, this helps children interpret situations more accurately, respond appropriately, and eventually become flexible thinkers who can empathize with others and see different points of view.

Teaching perspective-taking is not just about helping children understand others—it’s about giving them the tools to connect, communicate, and thrive in a world full of different viewpoints.

When we patiently guide neurodivergent children to step into another’s shoes, we’re not only building empathy but also nurturing flexibility, resilience, and stronger relationships.

And often, it begins with something as simple as looking inside a piggy bank.

🌟 Perspective-Taking Made Fun with EdQueries

At EdQueries, we believe that learning through play is one of the best ways to nurture cognitive and social skills. That’s why we created the Perspective Taking Game 🎲—an interactive activity that helps children practice seeing through another’s eyes in a fun, structured way. You can find the perspective games under the Cognition section.

Games like these make abstract concepts concrete, helping children learn empathy, theory of mind, and flexible thinking step by step.

✨ Try the Perspective Taking Game and other inclusive resources at EdQueries.com.